Why Does The Mars One Project Need A Stoner ?

The Mars One Project is down to 100 people, I have a few suggestions for next years  selections.


Why not have an experienced stoner to grow and maintain cannabis on Mars? Cannabis is probably the most beneficial herb/medicine on our planet. Cannabis is probably the most human like plant on earth and the most planet friendly.

The cannabis plant has tons of beneficial uses that are restricted for a lot of us here on EARTH…

Weed isn’t legalized on Mars but it isn’t illegal either so why shouldn’t our representation be growing the finest herbs and maintain maximum health. Cannabis should be the most stocked seed going to Mars. Any seed bank out there should now be contacting the Mars One Project to offer the seeds. This would be a gigantic marketing scheme…Imagine having your seeds be the first cannabis seeds grown on Mars. Its highly unlikely that The Mars One Project will accept them though, or who knows…

I actually had an idea a few years ago for a funny story about growing weed in space when I was frustrated with silly drug laws that prevent growing. Technology had to catch up though  but I imagined having big shipping containers orbit the Earth with glass sides to catch sunlight for solar power and use the natural light cycle for seasonal harvesting…It was a short and flawed piece of science fiction. Now cannabis crops growing on Mars could be a reality (Did I just type that….). I think cannabis will be our greatest commodity in space even though I haven’t tried any alien weed yet, but I’m willing to trade if any aliens are reading. On a seriously silly side note: if aliens show up and want to trade….you think that they’re gonna want our carrot seeds? I think not! I bet they have way better carrots. I’ve seen the pictures…I know what they want…

I’ve had a read through the mars-one page, I’ve placed my thoughts under each paragraph explaining why I think cannabis and a stoner are the perfect candidates for Mars:

Years Of Training

“In addition to the expertise and work experience they must already possess, they have to learn quite a few new skills physical and electrical repairs to the settlement structures, cultivating crops in confined spaces, and addressing both routine and serious medical issues such as dental upkeep, muscle tears and bone fractures.
A good ganja farmer knows their electrical set-up better than their mother’s birthday and the required labour for their garden, enthusiasm driven by an almost Dendrophiliac love (which is good since I hear there is to be no baby-making on Mars). Growing crops in confined spaces is a stoner’s specialty. A good grower will tell you how many grams of flower/bud they will produce per watt of light in a measured space…these are great qualities, no?

Journey To Mars

“This will not be easy. Showering with water will not be an option. Instead the astronauts make do with wet towelettes (wet wipes) as used by astronauts on the International Space Station.”
 “Freeze dried and canned food is the only option.”
For some stoner’s washing with baby wipes while eating freeze dried and canned foods WILL be easy…they do this anyway.

Life on Mars

“Within the settlement are inflatable components which contain bedrooms, working areas, a living room and a ‘plant production unit’, where they will grow greenery. They will also be able to shower as normal, prepare fresh food (that they themselves grew and harvested) in the kitchen, wear regular clothes, and, in essence, lead typical day-to-day lives.”

A stoners dream job would be to harvest food and herbs while helping mankind…again this is a no brainer!

Construction & Research

“The astronauts will research how their bodies respond and change when living in a 38% gravitational field, and how food crops and other plants grow in hydroponic plant production units.”

Most growers would say their middle name was ‘Hydro’ Bro!

Reports From Mars

“The astronauts will not only submit routine reports, but will also share all that they enjoy and find challenging. It will give the people on Earth a unique and personal insight view of life on Mars. They could answer intriguing questions like: What is it like to walk on Mars? How do you feel about your fellow astronauts after a year? What is it like living in the reduced Mars’ gravity? What is your favorite food? Do you enjoy the sunsets on Mars?”

A stoner will give you the most colorful and insightful answers. A stoner is wayyyy more likely to keep the peace with harmonizing vibes. I mean who doesn’t want a weed inspired human to answer these questions from Mars? We want real people on this mission…real people who blaze…or vape (for health and safety man).

Future Expansion

“Eventually, a living unit will be built from local materials, large enough to grow trees. As more astronauts arrive, the creativity applied to settlement expansion will certainly give way to ideas and innovation that we cannot conceive now.”

What better plant to grow for materials than hemp with a grower who has mastered it? Hemp’s growing times and use of resources are minimal. Also a good stoner will have great engineering skills after years of making bongs out of junk.
 Some Questions For Mars One:
As silly as this sounds I’d like to know if there will there be written contracts or laws for Mars?
Are the laws decided before they leave?
Who decides these laws, the contestants/astronauts or the project manager or some government?
Will there be prisons?
Will there be prisons for cannabis users?
Will someone profit from these prisons?

I’m Ranting now…

But seriously, mushroom spores survive the vacuum of space… cool to bring some just in case? or No?
If you reported ‘illegal’ drugs being  grown on Mars I’d bet the police would get there in less than your estimated 7 months-9months! Even though they have on occasion took longer to respond to actual crimes here on Earth…
Would you be up for this? For a laugh like?
what about paraphernalia? is it ok? cuz I have this Lava lamp Bong that would make such a Mars selfie?
Anywho, people at MarsOneProject You can buy some seeds here if you’re still looking for which ones to buy:
That is all!
If you want to find out more about the project or even contact them with suggestions ( of strains maybe? ) then go here: http://www.mars-one.com/mission/humankind-on-mars
Author can be found on Twiiter @NameSake420